An exploration of the complexities of motherhood.
|Posted on December 3, 2012 at 5:05 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted on July 26, 2012 at 11:45 PM||comments (261)|
SIlly Summer Fun at Fountain of Youth Hot Springs. Thermopolis, WY. Once made the mistake of saying to my older daughter "Stop being so silly.' Her reply "What do I look like, an ADULT?"
|Posted on May 1, 2012 at 12:30 PM||comments (0)|
Today is my Birth Day...the day my mother gave birth to me. I am remembering her today with love, admiration and gratitude.
|Posted on March 6, 2012 at 10:40 PM||comments (400)|
A sticker for the Grandmothers! Upon my Great-grandmother Theresa's passing at the age of 95 my Aunt Sue took time to write this reflection which I feel beautifully frames the sentiment behind the Matriarch design.
"GG (short for Great Grandmother), was born in 1889 in Cefalu, Italy, THERESA BROCATO. She had two sisters and three brothers. GG came to America to join her father at the age of nine. She worked 'til she married Salvatore Franco. She bore eight children and raised Josephine, Salvatore, Margaret and Amelia (she suffered the loss of the other four through still birth, ailments and one in an street car accident). GG was a hardworking, determined, proud lady who was very resolute in her beliefs and decisions. Though very strongly opinionated and sometimes exasperating in her dictates, she had a heart of gold and MUCH LOVE for her family, her life. The strength and love she showed them has carried them through many a hard time. Never forget for as her decendants you have much to be proud of...she was the tree and you are the branch, may you go forth and bear good fruit as she did and would want you to do."
|Posted on February 8, 2012 at 9:35 PM||comments (19)|
Comment received this week at Motherhood Lotus:
"I first found your products at Becoming Mothers, and I like them very much! The logo is funny and charming and I like the products on which it appears. However, I have not purchased any of them because I would prefer it if they said "Parenthood" instead of "Motherhood".
I think that having only "motherhood" on your logo is neglectful towards fathers, and perhaps indirectly towards women who don't bear their own children. This is because the most natural explanation for not including fathers is that they don't carry the baby for nine months nor breastfeed, which is also true of mothers who adopt or use surrogates. This is why I suggest "parenthood" - it honors everybody who is a parent, regardless of gender or how they came to be a parent.
You may have heard this suggestion before, but I hope that you will consider it and my reasons for it!"
|Posted on January 25, 2012 at 4:05 PM||comments (2)|
After receiving many requests from Fathers for a message that applies to Dads. I have begun my research, and hope to have a sticker for Dads coming out soon. Initial research has revealed the following:
In biology, Bateman's principle states that "females almost always invest more energy into producing offspring than males invest, and therefore in most species females are a limiting resource over which the other sex will compete." Here lies the reason, we cannot exactly say that Fatherhood is the Shortest and Steepest Path to Enlightenment. Biologically females invest more engery into producing and raising offspring, and therefore face a different challenge in body, mind and soul when it comes to their children.
The Emperor Penguin is one species in the animal kingdom where males play a large role in caring for young: "The female lays a single egg, which is incubated by the male while the female returns to the sea to feed; parents subsequently take turns foraging at sea and caring for their chick in the colony." (Wikipedia) The male seahorse is another example. "The male seahorse is equipped with a brood pouch on the ventral, or front-facing, side. When mating, the female seahorse deposits up to 1,500 eggs in the male's pouch. The male carries the eggs for anywhere from 9 to 45 days until they emerge, expelling fully developed, miniature seahorses in the water."(Wikipedia)
|Posted on November 29, 2011 at 12:15 PM||comments (1)|
My Great-grandmother Theresa, mother Gale and grandmother Josephine. Theresa was so angry that her granddaughter Gale was entering the convent that she stopped going to church and told people that Gale was dead! There's a good story there.
|Posted on November 15, 2011 at 11:30 AM||comments (2)|
Upon my mother's passing there were a handful of books she left behind; One of these was The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. According to Fromm, "In erotic love, two people become one. In motherly love, two people who were one, become separate." and "The mother must not only tolerate, but wish and support the child's separation." Because healthy motherly love must be unselfish and completely altruistic, it has been considered "the highest kind of love, and the most sacred of all emotional bonds."
WOW! So that is why it is so difficult to bear when my babies essentially turn on me, and begin to assert their individual wills saying "Mommy, NO!" I think the separation is difficult for both mother and child, hence the eye rolls, attitudes and tantrums that come up from time to time for all of us, children and mothers. Good luck today moms, may we all learn to bear the separation from our babies.
|Posted on April 3, 2011 at 10:45 PM||comments (6)|
My mother was a Catholic nun for 16 years beginning right after high school. She taught Catholic school and was well loved by her students, many of whom have kept in touch with her throughout the rest of her life. She loved her vocation but ultimately decided to leave the convent and move on to the next chapter of her life. She soon met and married my father and they had me, their only child. She found that motherhood was the greatest challenge she had ever known. She didn’t have me “eating out of her hand” like her students did. She often told me “Motherhood requires the patience of a saint” and “I can’t wait until you grow up and have a daughter that acts just like you.” Well I did grow up, and now have two daughters. When I began to comprehend how difficult motherhood really was. I was inspired to create this bumper sticker honoring moms, my own mom in particular; that says “Motherhood-The Shortest and Steepest Path to Enlightenment.” I made the sticker to remind women walking the path of motherhood that we are not alone in our struggles and that all of the hard work is a beautiful opportunity for our own growth. Knowing what I put my mom through and what I am going though raising two young girls, the sentiment means a lot to me. My mother passed away this January after a long battle with cancer. I was fortunate to be able to "mother" her in the last two months of her life.
|Posted on March 14, 2011 at 11:10 AM||comments (3)|
Before mom died, in what turned out to be her last moments of verbal clarity, her thoughts were these: She said “Don’t be rigid. Be accepting and loving.” (This was a profound statement to me because in my mother’s life she could be very rigid. She was incredibly pious, and after 16 years as a Catholic nun, she held strict moral standards that did not allow for human frailty, for mistakes. This aspect of her personality made her less accepting, causing her to seem less loving even though she loved very deeply. I feel, based on experience and observation, that she suffered a distancing from some of her loved ones due to this aspect of her personality.)
“How can we open a door, so that a door is open for people even in this cold, dark night.” (This is a metaphor for how she felt about the difficulties of trying to be accepting and loving. She acknowledges here what a struggle it is to remain open to others in the midst of the disturbing difficulties that we inevitably encounter in this life. The image is striking to me; these words illuminate the accumulated wisdom of her lifetime, what she may have worked to change if she could live her life over again.)
“We need to pray, to pray that whatever this thing is between us, all different nationalities, we are all God’s children. We want to be used by God; please God use us as your instruments.”(This points to a letting go of our own attachments and allowing spirit to work through us, in this way we can lose our ego and our self consciousness, or our separation from others, our fears.)
“Be quiet and listen, we don’t have to have all of the answers right away. It might be years before we know some answers. So work together, fuss together, disagree together.” (The final words, with the repetition of “together,” are all about love, she is urging us to stay connected, be accepting of the path others are on that may be different from our own. Do not judge, criticize, condemn, but rather let time and openness be our guide.)
The irony of this exercise is that my mother is the very person I want to call right now with whom to share these thoughts.